Reality hurts so I drink to stay asleep
I'm haunted by many reoccurring nightmares
of memories that I just can no longer bear
Copious tears I have drunk from the vineyard’s vine ,
that hasten my darkling and spiraling decline
into depression's lonely lurid abyss;
where I flirt tragically with death's karma kiss
Please, now believe me... I was not always this way
Army rules, I once submissively did obey
I have fought, bled and grafted for my bless'ed homeland
My "welcome home" heralded by a grateful Band
As together for our fallen brothers we mourned;
a medal of valour upon me they adorned
A country, once so proud of their gallant hero;
but now... no longer wish, of me and mine, to know
I've become a stain on their pristine, perfect sheet,
a part of history they now wish to delete
As the war, I fought, is now under scrutiny;
now a deviant... through fulfilling my duty
No rehabilitation... I struggle to cope
To protect my kin... I thought it best I elope
All alone on Civvy Street... I do not belong
...drunkenly singing, proud, my old regiment's song
So please do not judge me on what you now, in me, see
I'm a casualty of war... reduced to debris
Some fear; even pity me and some think me insane
Truth is... I've invisible wounds that torment my brain
For the deaths of my comrades and enemies, I've wept
No longer a robot programmed to fight and protect
Oh when will the world's fear, greed and hatred decrease?
I yearn the day, the world and I... are free to find peace
© Debbie Razey 2015
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